live out loud

in hamilton, every second friday of the month, there is an art crawl. its called the james street north art crawl. james street north is in the heart of downtown hamilton in the art district. its not big, hamilton isn't that big, but the art crawl is when galleries in the area have their new art openings. artists show their talents. there is hand made jewellery, music, photographers, painters, dancers. there is furniture for sale, cafes have bands playing. you can talk to the artists, they are right there. you can ask them anything, praise their work, purchase a painting/photograph or drawing of theirs (heres the site). 
the area in general is interesting, i love it.

 these are the kind of coffee shops i love.

i disapprove of how conventional and characterless places like tim hortons and starbucks are. okay yes if im just going to get the caffeine rush these options are acceptable, but if im going to enjoy a cup of coffee while catching up with a friend, on a date or just while sitting down to read id prefer a coffee shop with oddity and character. there is something about mismatched coffee mugs and using real spoons instead of stir sticks that i love. 

some things around the district

i need a better camera.. pictures dont turn out the way i would like them to.. you cant get clarity when you want the entire scene in.

live out loud. 
be creative.
creativity is allowing yourself to be free, worried not about judgment, to express your thoughts, dreams, ideas, style, beliefs and everything else in life. 

awkward

i am a tad awkward. i dont try to be, i just am. if you know me im probably less awkward or possibly you have just grown used to my awkwardness lol but im still awkward sometimes. i was the most awkward looking kid. i was scrawny, skinny and tall. my hair was short, i always had bangs and i was often caught wearing socks half way up my shins with shorts, and probably sandals. growing up i was super shy, that kid that gets an "N" for needs improvement in class participation but an "E" for excellent in everything else.
this is why im awkward..
-once at winners i followed a lady into the change room. i waited for her to leave so i could change then i realized she didn't work there.
- once i was at the bay and my sisters and i each needed a changeroom so i walked in and opened three doors, one for each of my sisters and the third one i opened i walk into. the first two already had people in them.. lol my sisters were not very happy.
- i need glasses and i dont wear them often, so sometimes when people are waving at me i dont think i know them so i just walk past them.
- when i am unsure if people are serious or joking i change the subject
- i take cheese off my pizza
- i park too far away from the ticket machine in parking lots and have to put the parking breaking on to take my foot off the break so i can reach it.. once i put my foot on the gas instead and the car started making noises..
- i can't retell stories or jokes.. i make them awkward.

awkward is cool.

im the awkward family member in the grey shirt

just a little something

i like this.

it says a lot.

*be the thought.

 be the hope. 

be the action.

 be the change.*

yuck yuck yuck

worms are gross.. they creep me out as much as e.t does. what are they made of and where are their eyes? why does each end move separately? i know sometimes ones purpose in life is questioned, but really what the heck is the purpose of a worm. if i were a worm i would.. eww i dont even want to imagine that. blahhh.. what kinda of species only dies from being squished but not sliced in thirds? im so grossed out i wont even kill a worm..
therefore, i hate gardening, its stirring the world of the worms.

i love books

i just finished reading the virgin suicides by jeffery eugenides. it was an extremely good book, not long at all.. umm 242 pages lol. it was the 6th book i've read this summer and i still have a dozen more to read. i often read a lot in the summer, its the only time i have to read and enjoy it. i guess i read during the school year too but its more of a mandatory textbook read rather than a read for fun.. i much prefer reading for fun. i have a problem though.. when i finish an amazing book, it takes me so long to get into another one if it doesn't start as amazing as the last one ended. its hard for me to give the author that introductory grace period of the book not catching my attention within the first 5 pages. with the 6 books ive read this summer came white oleander (by janet fitch) and the virgin suicides (some of the best books ive ever read). these books are hard to match in my opinion. i also read the great gatsby (by scott fitzgerald), water for elephants (by sara gruen), 206 bones (by kathy reichs) and 8 days to live (by iris johansen). some slightly disappointing, some slow, some sad, some jumpy and hard to follow, all worth reading. now im trying to get into to this book called vanishing acts by jodi picoult.. its more difficult then i expected it would be, but im sure once i get through the first 4 chapters or so it will get more interesting. i've heard good reviews about the book and her other book, my sisters keeper, was also highly rated (and made into a movie). 

in terms of the type of books i like.. its hard to tell.. i need books that inspire, have mystery, love and hate even crime. i like literary fiction.. books filled with themes, poetic writing styles and views of the world only few would think of. i like when books have their spines cracked and pages folded, representing its frequency of being read, or flipped through (to refer back to something interesting or view altering you once read). i want to read books that inspired the authors and people i love. i like reading books by educated academics, people that i learn something from (although i still like to read books written by those actresses/actors gone writer, for example, the truth about diamonds - by nicole richie - i actually enjoyed). okay. i was just in an i love books mood, and i found some cool pictures.

this is cute.. 

 i want this.. it looks relaxing.

now this is interesting.

books are worth collecting because i guarantee at some point in your life you will want to read them again - only the good ones.

"the worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it" - james bryce

"a test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter" - thomas helm

doggie style..

four legged animals.. dogs.. i wish i had one. i like dogs, except when they lick my face. i've never owned a dog, instead we used to have a family cat named einstein. he was cute and i miss him sometimes but i really would like a dog. i want a cockapoo, cocker spaniel/poodle.. lovelove.

so my aunt is a teacher and since shes gone during the day, teaching and all, for the past few weeks my sisters and i go over and walk the dogs. it gives me something to do, helps her out and gives the dogs a much needed opportunity to release all the energy they manage to build up in a day. today i went to walk them alone. 

 this is fete - hes cute.. i think the name means celebration in french

 i love him most - shhh 

this is jessie, she is a bearded shepard.. shes younger and bigger

they like me now that i walk them.. fete often gets so tired he jumps in the pool after the walk and obviously comes over and shakes all the water off himself and on to me.

walking is fine, poop scoopering im still getting used to.

obviously you dont like breathing clean air

i went to the dundas buskerfest yesterday, just a little street festival with jugglers, comedians, fudge and little tents with unique stuff on tables. we didn't stay long, i was kind of sick and its not very big. there was a few good acts.. its always fun when an australian man insists that the audience dances and points out everyone who is not following along with his awkward, unprofessional dance moves. oh and a magician who calls a kid an idiot and eats an entire balloon.. im really still wondering what happened to that balloon lol. so despite that little opener, i am angry with this world.. leaving, i saw a friggen 9/10 year old kid light a cigarette and pass it to his friend. if you know me at all, you probably know how much this would bug me. seriously!! where do these kids even get cigarettes?! their older siblings? i can't really see them having friends who are that much older. its disgusting. you aren't even old enough to make reasonable decisions in other aspects in your life, dont smoke you idiots! okay i dont smoke, and i never want to but at least when you are of legal age you are only doing one stupid thing (smoking) rather than two (breaking the law and smoking).. id say it is assumed that as you get older you know more of the consequences and dangers of smoking, but often i dont think thats the case.. people are naive and they pay selective attention.. if you want to smoke, or enjoy smoking, you will more likely assume that all those dangers/effects of smoking will never happen to you. they will. but come on kids! you are probably healthy currently.. dont ruin it please! for your own sake, not for mine.. although you do make me physically sick just thinking about how dumb you are.

now i sound like some kind of anal parent.. lol im not trying to

just saying how i feel about stupid 10 year old kids who smoke 

and modern music it aint to her taste

i love relaxing summer days and starbucks. starbucks has this music pick of the week thing, free itunes download each week. its perfect. i've had bad experience with computers, my whole family has, so we don't download music on anything but itunes. way afraid of viruses. but i tunes adds up when you have to pay for every song, so i get the pick of the week at starbucks lol. its free right! this week it was longing to belong by eddie vedder so i needed to get it!

one from last week was still there.

ohh i dragged my sister and my friend andrew with me to starbucks, andrew wasn't impressed when he found out the reason i wanted to go was to get an itunes pick of the week card.

i played around with pictures of my extremely unproductive but relaxing day.

i creeped my sister out a bit - my face did 

 ♪ she may be young but she only likes old things... she likes the natural light, captured in black and white ♪ 

all the best dj's are saving the slowest song for last

yesterday i went to a concert in buffalo with my friend james. im not really a concert going kind of girl.. im usually perfectly content with bands playing in my ears through a little rectangular box we call the i pod. i dont need to be surrounded by other fans, especially when they are screaming the lyrics to the songs.. i didn't come to listen to you sing, i want to hear the band. so yup, i much enjoy listening to even my favourite music on a cd, ipod or computer. but anyways i was invited to a concert, i knew little music from the band but more took it as an opportunity to hang out with a good friend. so we went to see jimmy eat world, james loves them - im pretty sure they are his favourite band.

we left around 5:30, doors opened at 7pm. i must say, im a little impressed, after parking the car we heard bells chime from a clock tower near the venue, exactly 7:00, nice job james. we still had to wait in line and i had a slightly awkward experience of some girl whispering in my that she liked my jeans. and she asked me if there was a specific name for them.. umm skinny jeans? 

the venue was fairly small, it was called the town ballroom, no seats, all standing. you know what sucks, being my height at a concert. im not short, im like 5'5, but apparently tall people dont see me and therefore assume im not there or something. or maybe tall people travel in flocks and the flock just decided to crowd around the front and centre last night. so due to my height, i was unable to get any pictures, any i did get, james took for me since he is significantly taller - but they turned out blurry. 

the opening band was really good! a band called civil twilight.. its pretty sweet, they are from south africa. this song is amazing. they were on for maybe 40 minutes than jimmy eat world! jimmy eat world was better than i would have expected (remember im not a concert person). the few songs i know and love by them, they played. the ones i didn't know, were pretty good.

james got a shirt.  

so crossing the border was nothing, concert was great, tall people kind of ruin view of bands for me, birkenstocks are a good shoe to wear when standing for 3.5 hours and sometimes large groups of people smell.

ohh and on the way back home we stopped at a tops to get water and that was a bit interesting lol. there was a random frog noise, like a loud ribbit, ribbit, coming from the entrance. it was too loud to be coming from a real frog, i was confused.

ohh and now i can't wait too see death cab for cutie in concert in july!! 

due to lack of pictures, here are music from the two bands

its not a confession when i dont explain..

dont you hate when you find out something about someone that you shouldn't know, or not necessarily shouldn't, but they just dont know you know. and its even worse when it makes you mad or sad but you can't confront the person about it because you shouldn't know in the first place. its not like the person deliberately says you are not supposed to know, but you just know you aren't supposed to know because its against all contexts you have ever known about the person. im sorry if this confuses you but im not really willing to explain it any more than i have here. im not saying you shouldn't keep things from people, everyone has their right to have their own life and to single out certain situations or aspects of their personality they want to reveal to different sorts of people. im just saying it sucks when i know something i shouldn't and i can't tell the only person it would affect. too be honest, i dont even think it would affect him, but we probably wouldn't talk as much, since im pretty sure its meant to be kept from me lol. its simpler that way.
why can't everyone just be who they are in front of everyone. actually i understand why they can't, but it just bugs me sometimes. i understand why when you are at work or school you need to act a little more responsible, organized, maybe punctual than when you are with your friends/family, and that you may be more inhibited with your new or old friends then you would be with the opposite group. but it does make things a little easier (understandable, comprehendible and enjoyable) if you are not a jerk half the time, a mystery a quarter of the time and a sweetheart the other quarter of the time. choose one so i can act appropriately to your selection.