.. more words to live by

"We are each the authors of our own lives, Emma. We live in what we have created. There is no way to shift the blame and no one else to accept the accolades." - Barbara Taylor Bradford

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words to live by

starting yesterday in the hamilton spectator there is a 5-part series called "words to live by". its about women and their voice. voice, not as in their ability to produce sounds through the thin flaps of their vocal cords, rather, voice as in their personal expression. through art. through writing, drawing and photography. writing blogs, poems, lyrics and stories. the group of female writers being featured in the hamilton spectators 5 part series are recovering addicts, some alcoholics, some drug addicts. despite all recovering from addictions they all share something else in common; their love of writing. these individuals hit "rock bottom" and while feeling lost, found their way through writing. each day the series introduces you to a different writer. with each writer, a different perspective, distinct experience and unique words.
this series is exciting! expressing your own thoughts through words and photography is one reason i began this blog. to some blogging is a hobby, to some its a method of coping with the daily. to many its a journal of our thoughts. the author in the hamilton spectator described it well, "words move quickly from head to heart, through to pen and paper." (or in this case; to text on screen). often although writing can inspire others, it is personal to the writers.
you can read the spectator 5 part series sunday through to this thursday    

just the way you are

"when you love someone more than he loves you, you'll do anything to switch the scales. you dress the way you think he'd like you to dress. you pick up his favourite figures of expression. you tell yourself that if you re-create yourself in his image, then he will crave you the same way you crave him.".. 

"when you are told you are someone you aren't over and over, you begin to believe it. you live that life. but you are wearing a mask, that one day might slip off if you aren't careful. you wonder what he will do when he finds out" - Jodie Picoult in Vanishing Acts

i love books and love owning them but i find that they are only worth keeping when you get something out of them. when books have a powerful message or line that really stands out, these i define as keepers. these are the books i will keep on my bookshelf and read again, whether it be the whole book or just the line in mention. although a book can reveal a writers talent, sometimes its one sentence in a book that is able to capture a true glimpse of just how talented a writer is. 

the line from the book above - has meaning to me. im sure it has meaning to a lot of girls. at some point you have tried to change yourself to be someone you are not, to be accepted or to be liked. you try so hard to be that someone and when you are still not liked by this guy or accepted by those people, you try harder. eventually you will either break and no longer be able to be that "fake" without revealing the true you or.. you will not be able to draw the line between the real you and the "fake". 

to be honest, i dont even know how to explain the tendencies of people to feel this way, to want to be someone they are not, just to be liked. is it messages from the media that cause this?  or is it just that people are mean? there is no one answer, i dont think. i just think its important to love and accept others the way they are and not try to change their appearance, their interests or views, their religion, their style. if you were never told you could or should be any different then you are, maybe you will avoid people who you do not mesh with (people who would be likely to change you) because you'd never try to change because you never have felt you needed to. 

so spread the action - dont try to change anyone to please yourself. if someone is different, accommodate the difference in your life so he or she does not need to be different then they are. maybe after you've realized you shouldn't try and change who anyone is, you will realize you can't change who you are to please someone.

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