what i learned from earnest..

"the truth is rarely pure and never simple"

the quote above is by Oscar Wilde.. a quote from the importance of being earnest. i read this book/play last month and this quote is what i took from it. although the short sentence was just a line somewhere at the beginning of the book, it stuck with me. 

i feel like i have always thought about truth and lies as black and white. truths are easy and simple. lies are difficult and complex. truths are fact. lies are fiction. truths can be proven, backed up and/or referenced. lies have to be rehearsed and memorized, they are created, staged and/or planned. 

lies seem like so much effort.. so why do people so often choose not to tell the truth? .. because the truth isn't pure and simple. the truth is filled with facts and necessary explanations. it is filled with love and so often with hurt. truth is filled with emotion. truth is powerful and so often misunderstood. truth can ruin people, it can cause tears and harm... truth may be stable but it is very complex.

i believe that often the truth makes people so uncomfortable that lies seem like the better option. you make up a piece of information, more likely than not a piece of information the communicator believes the receiver wants to be presented with. the information is invented.. easy. our brains do that in seconds. but really..when we make a decision, i believe people exhibit an immediate fight or flight response. 

lies are simple, they can be devised in a matter of seconds.. do it.

truth.. complicated..causing anxiety. run.

so we run. we tell the lie instead of the truth. lies just seem so much easier to do. although truth is fact and therefore should be more easily stored in our brains, it is so not pure and definitely not simple. 

simple messages and tiny notes

i am, like many in this day in age, completely attached to cell phone and have a tendency of going crazy if i am without it. its my phone, my camera, my gps, my computer, my alarm clock, my calculator and my calendar.. and its sad but i can confidently state i am not alone in this!.. even if im not on my phone constantly, i am calm when i have it with me. 
so on tuesday i left for work and as soon as i was half way there (it only takes about 5 minutes to walk to work from my house) i realized i forgot my phone at home. i turned around and was about to head back home but i looked at my watch and realized i only had 3 minutes until i had to be at work!.. i turned around and headed towards work (the smart and responsible thing to do).. but i was already stressing out i didn't have my phone.  its not even that i am on my phone at work ever but for some reason i just need the phone with me and alive (i also hate when it dies during the day)..
anyways i get to work and get everything together for the day and i email terry saying.. ahhh! i forgot my phone at home! im going to go crazy"and continued on with my day.
i came home to quite a few text messages.. sent by terry throughout the day.. each message short, sweet and completely perfect. the words made me smile and may have made leaving my phone at home a little worth it!

1 year!

terry and i met in september when school began. by october he pretty much stopped showing up for classes. by november classes picked up, group members started to get their acts together and dead lines needed to be met. terry and i started working on group projects with group members and by december terry and i were hanging out by ourselves outside of school (and he even made me dinner a few times). over christmas holidays last year, terry went back home to thunder bay for maybe two weeks.. he came back on january 6th.
although we had been hanging out before this date and anything so traditional as a dinner date didn't occur until valentines day.. we chose this date - january 6th - as our day. our somewhat official "we have established we are dating" day. therefore january 6, 2013 was our one year (we'll call it our anniversary).
i can't believe it has been a year! sometimes i feel we are so young in this relationship.. other times i feel we have grown so much and overcome many of the significant issues. we have learned a lot about each other (he has learned i am a horrible dancer and i have learned he will never give up his horribly weathered and ripped hat).  its hard to understand how two people so different can get along so well..
i'll be honest though - as different as we are - its not hard. i don't find our relationship a challenge (or a least not a difficult one) . yes, we need to go out of our way for each other sometimes, yes we have arguments and we don't always see eye-to-eye and yes we both have busy, busy schedules.. but no its not difficult. it feels good to go out of my way for him sometimes and our arguments teach us about each other - they allow us to be more considerate of one another and grow together. when we don't see eye-to-eye, there is opportunity to veer away from stubbornness and any existing single-mindedness. we are able to listen and talk  - seeing as we are so extremely different, this is crucial. our busy schedules allow us to both appreciate the time we have together and understand the need we both have for our own individual time (because yes, we both desperately need our "me" time).
anyways.. to keep it simple.. it works! we work! and HAPPY ONE YEAR TERRY xo!

we spent our day at the arcade paying video games (where we kicked butt at wheel of fortune) and at chapters picking out books (i requested he pick out a book for me - i warned him it better be a good choice). arcade/chapters was followed by a lovely dinner at a tiny pasta place with some amazing food and great wine (and i also tried oysters for the first time!).. 

*i lack pictures :( my phone died shortly after we got to the arcade..

welcoming 2013

cheers to the new year

despite the fact this picture - a glass full of champagne - may not appropriately demonstrate my wishes for a happy, healthy, fun and safe 2013..

i do wish all the best for you in 2013. 

may wishes come true and goals be met..

may love be spread and passion be shared..

may smiles be seen and hearts be touched.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!