i want a frog

ive been so frustrated today that i want to cry. you know those days when everyone is just the most irritating human being on this earth. im just going to write since i need some me time and talking to myself may get me a diagnosis titled insane. okay so i get into work today and i find out my favourite coworker had been let go just this morning. this sucks beyond explanation. at work there are 3 full times, 2 of which are the managers, and 5/6 part times. the coworker im closest with, another part time, dylan, just took a leave of absence for the rest of summer which already upset me, he was great and i miss him there. now one of the full times, shelley, got let go. they fired her! i know i shouldn't make this about me but i dont know what i am going to do without her!.. she didnt deserve to be fired. i mean, i know they had their reasons and i do have complete respect for management but personally i dont think the reasons should result in termination. it frustrates me so much! she did nothing wrong, but apparently her productivity wasn't at par.. ahhhh i want to scream. she was like our "work mother"..i wish her luck in finding a new job.. and i wont lose touch but still im sad.
so some words of wisdom people.. its extremely annoying when you walk into a store 10 minutes before close and ask for a bunch of sizes in clothes/shoes.. do you not realize that we have probably already counted our tills, cleaned up our back room, and swept the floor? do you also not realize that many part times are not closers and only get paid until the hour of close and not a second more? omg its soo annoying when people come in at 8:50 when the mall closes at 9 and they want 5 pairs of shoes to try on.. obviously im not going to say no but are you friggen kidding me! why couldn't you come 20 minutes ago. i had people in the store until 9:15 tonight. oh and to make it worse, she took out the clothes she had previously purchased from other stores and held them up to herself while wearing the shoes.. ahh! i happened to be closing tonight (my shift was until 9:30) but the part time i was with was only paid until 9. i let her go at 9:15 once the customers were gone, but counting the till, deposits and closing the store takes awhile and i was there until 9:45.. its ridiculous. to top it off my sister was picking me up from work and had been waiting in the car for 20 minutes so she was not in a good mood when i got in the car.
not done. i come home and i have a message to call this women i babysit for back. i call her and she is in a bad mood and she is getting all frustrated because she is trying to plan a 2 week trip and needs 24 hour a day coverage for her daughter. she needs to know which days i am available for the next two weeks and doesn't understand that i only know my schedule a week in advance. i can't friggen tell you my schedule for the week of july 11th yet i dont know it! she's like well why cant you book that time off.. umm maybe its because my other job is priority.. im 23, my main job is no longer babysitting like it was when i was 15. your older son and daughter could probably book it of just as easy as i can why dont you start by asking them. she was seriously getting mad, raising her voice over the phone, because she had it written down somewhere that i was available.. um no.. i booked 3 full days off from my other job fully allotting 72 hours undivided attention to babysit and im also available any other time the mall is not open, im not booking anymore time off! 
ahh this is such a bitter post. i actually love babysitting the little girl. she is a sweetheart. but when i babysit it is a choice not an obligation. i shouldn't have to give up hours at my other job to babysit and i shouldn't feel forced into babysitting. i also want to clarify that i like where i work. it is a good part time job (i dont want to stay there forever, its not a career for me). the employees and managers are all very kind and the group is close. everyone contributes in some way or another but it wont be the same without shelley. 
maybe people are just incessantly annoying, by nature.
oh on a cheerful note.. green earth, the store beside us at the mall is selling the cutest little frogs. i want one. i want to name it surge. or maybe frolic. maybe i will buy one. how long do frogs live?       

indigo spirit

i was just casually walking through mapleview mall full intentions of going into hmv and buying lady gaga's born this way cd and i passed this store with a sign in the window i couldn't resist. it was indigo and the sign was buy 3 books get the 4th book free. see on a regular basis i am completely against sales like this.. like with clothes, buy two get one free kind of stuff.. my intentions were to buy one, why would i spend money on two just to get a third when i only wanted to buy one. these kind of promotions are only an attraction if they allow you to spend less and still get everything you want, not to spend more and get extra then you want. anyways i wanted three books, well four, but one of them i have to get from a used book store or something because im not spending the hard cover $30 price for it. its always easy to pick a fourth book i want to read though

i saw something borrowed and im sure its one of my favourite movies im so excited to read the book! ill tell you how they are after i read them.

cottage life.. cant wait

im leaving for my friends cottage today! muskoka/huntsville.. i love it! soo excited..

quick post before i leave

omg this was so long ago!

caroline, meagan and i..

have a good weekend! 

i need a cottage

my life has been way too busy lately. i always think i have nothing to do, but for some reason i never have any time to just sit and read. last week/weekend was insane. coffee with james on tueday night, wednesday morning i gardened for my grandma than headed to toronto to visit meagan. i was in toronto from wednesday til friday, catching up with friends, walking around downtown, friday night i came back and had my first soccer game of the season. im just playing for an ancaster adult league, its just for fun and i love it. we won the first game! saturday i worked 1-6, took my dad out for a fathers day dinner down on locke street, then i went to the burlington sound of music festival to see the last half of tokyo police club play. sunday i worked from 11-5, which actually ended up being 11-5:45 (i had some issues closing/balancing the til) then i headed to brantford for a fathers day get together my uncle always hosts.
the get together was fun. i have some amazing cousins and i love catching up with my aunts and uncles. monday i went to the gym, had to run some errands, celebrated my sisters birthday and went out for drinks. tuesday i worked 11-9:30.. wow long shift. now this morning, im gardening again for my grandma until around 2:30 and than im babysiting at 8pm until who knows when..
ahh i kind of feel writing these blogs are pointless but whatever..
tomorrow im leaving for the cottage til sunday or monday! im so excited. i cant wait.. we have barbeques and sangrias planned.. cupcake baking and card games. swimming and reading
ohh so just lastly.. what do you think goes through a dogs brain lol..
my sister and i were thinking about this.. do dogs worry like people do.. they have humans slave to them, pick up their poop, give them exercise, feed them, house them.. they sleep the majority of the day.. oh the life of the dog..!

birthday messages

i think i have more fun on other peoples birthdays than i do on my own. i hate being the centre of attention and that seems to be the common occurrence on ones birthday. unfortunately for me, i have a sister and a best friend with a birthday on the same day. i owe meagan a (happy 23rd!!) birthday celebration still.. i couldn't split myself between two cities in one day without a car. 

as for diana, she turned 21 and i decided it would be fun to take the birthday girl out for some drinks with friends. despite what my grandma thinks, 21 is not the legal drinking age in canada. drinks were no big deal, she has been legally drinking for 2 years now.. the real big deal was that we were paying for her drinks, so we got to pick what she was drinking..

hey birthday girl..

guess what you are drinking tonight..

we went to the whistling walrus. brie chose her first drink.. party in my pants. lol yup thats what it was called.. throughout the night our table ended up getting some interestingly named drinks. one called sunscreen which tasted like pineapple, a malibu barbie, raspberry rapture, tan lines.. oh and sex on the beach and some others i can't remember.. ohh and brie decided to order miss diana something else..

wait for it..

a shot. blow job..

and the boys got beer/cider.

the six of us.. we had fun celebrating dianas 21st

 

yeah so this was our night.. in pictures. diana i love you to death, you are amazing and i hope you had fun!

<3 

ohh all this on a monday night too

hi dad..

okay so i have never met your father as a father. if i've met your father, its been as a man, so i can't exactly say my dad is the best father there is.. but i can say he is pretty excellent. when i went out on the back porch this morning to wish my dad happy fathers day he gave me a big hug and said.. im so glad you are my daughter. thats the kind of dad he is. three daughters and he never makes us feel that we are anything less than perfect.
as little girls, our fathers (or a man of equal importance, such as a grandfather or other) are probably the most important men in our lives. my dad is still the most important man in my life. one day, hopefully not too too far away, when im married, there will be two (or more if i have sons) equally important men in my life. since im not married and i have no brothers lol, its my dad. im grateful for a man as wonderful as him for a father.
i love you daddy.
my mom is equally as important to me, but this is fathers day..

happy fathers day to all fathers out there

"any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad" -anne geddes

get sidetracked

pick a person.

pick a place.

pick a direction..

walk.

walk in a unique store.

buy something.

eat a treat.

take a picture.

distillery district

i went to toronto to visit meg, per usual.
i wanted to go to the distillery district in toronto.

i love areas like it.

bakeries, antiques, coffee shops, brick roads, no cars.

we kind of went at a weird time, on a thursday around 3 pm.

not many people were there..

we walked around entire downtown!

kensington market.. we got coffees, scones and chocolate covered espresso beans.

loved the espresso beans!!

we walked up dundas, front street, queen and college.

we went for sushi and bubble teas (our usual) on queen street

walked to the eatons centre.. i love forever 21 :)

 they were setting up for the mmva's.

i've never been.. they are always on fathers day

i love toronto. i would like to live there, downtown. i love downtown.

i'm kind of at a lack of words for this post.. busy weekend coming up!..sisters birthday, best friends birthday, fathers day.. i work both days, have a fathers day get together at my uncles on sunday also. i have my first soccer game tonight! ahh excited, kind of nervous..

have a good weekend!

honestly wtf

some wise website once told me..

if you cut a walnut in half..

you get a perfect heart.

i believe them now.

this wise website i speak of.. its called honestly wtf (here)

actually i intend to make a necklace out of these walnuts..

but for now..i just thought the heart was cool.

 ♥

sweets.

what is the sweetest thing someone has ever done for you? think. does your list of things come as easy as mine does? 

its the little things that count.

the things that show you people are listening when you talk and read when you write.

mine..

pictures speak loader than words

totally legit.

faultless.

these, in all their outright perfection, are red velvet cupcakes from hummingbird bakery

all the way from london

from james

james.. no one could have brought back something more perfect from a different country. i can't believe you didn't even eat one! umm maybe its because they may have radiation from going through customs xray scanners.. they are totally worth radiation lol.

despite the perfect cupcakes james brought back.. it sucks when your friend goes on a trip somewhere you wish you could go and comes back with some amazing pictures and all i want to do is post them lol.. cause i know he wont!..

i want to travel. see the world.

these made my day.

live out loud

in hamilton, every second friday of the month, there is an art crawl. its called the james street north art crawl. james street north is in the heart of downtown hamilton in the art district. its not big, hamilton isn't that big, but the art crawl is when galleries in the area have their new art openings. artists show their talents. there is hand made jewellery, music, photographers, painters, dancers. there is furniture for sale, cafes have bands playing. you can talk to the artists, they are right there. you can ask them anything, praise their work, purchase a painting/photograph or drawing of theirs (heres the site). 
the area in general is interesting, i love it.

 these are the kind of coffee shops i love.

i disapprove of how conventional and characterless places like tim hortons and starbucks are. okay yes if im just going to get the caffeine rush these options are acceptable, but if im going to enjoy a cup of coffee while catching up with a friend, on a date or just while sitting down to read id prefer a coffee shop with oddity and character. there is something about mismatched coffee mugs and using real spoons instead of stir sticks that i love. 

some things around the district

i need a better camera.. pictures dont turn out the way i would like them to.. you cant get clarity when you want the entire scene in.

live out loud. 
be creative.
creativity is allowing yourself to be free, worried not about judgment, to express your thoughts, dreams, ideas, style, beliefs and everything else in life. 

awkward

i am a tad awkward. i dont try to be, i just am. if you know me im probably less awkward or possibly you have just grown used to my awkwardness lol but im still awkward sometimes. i was the most awkward looking kid. i was scrawny, skinny and tall. my hair was short, i always had bangs and i was often caught wearing socks half way up my shins with shorts, and probably sandals. growing up i was super shy, that kid that gets an "N" for needs improvement in class participation but an "E" for excellent in everything else.
this is why im awkward..
-once at winners i followed a lady into the change room. i waited for her to leave so i could change then i realized she didn't work there.
- once i was at the bay and my sisters and i each needed a changeroom so i walked in and opened three doors, one for each of my sisters and the third one i opened i walk into. the first two already had people in them.. lol my sisters were not very happy.
- i need glasses and i dont wear them often, so sometimes when people are waving at me i dont think i know them so i just walk past them.
- when i am unsure if people are serious or joking i change the subject
- i take cheese off my pizza
- i park too far away from the ticket machine in parking lots and have to put the parking breaking on to take my foot off the break so i can reach it.. once i put my foot on the gas instead and the car started making noises..
- i can't retell stories or jokes.. i make them awkward.

awkward is cool.

im the awkward family member in the grey shirt

just a little something

i like this.

it says a lot.

*be the thought.

 be the hope. 

be the action.

 be the change.*

yuck yuck yuck

worms are gross.. they creep me out as much as e.t does. what are they made of and where are their eyes? why does each end move separately? i know sometimes ones purpose in life is questioned, but really what the heck is the purpose of a worm. if i were a worm i would.. eww i dont even want to imagine that. blahhh.. what kinda of species only dies from being squished but not sliced in thirds? im so grossed out i wont even kill a worm..
therefore, i hate gardening, its stirring the world of the worms.

i love books

i just finished reading the virgin suicides by jeffery eugenides. it was an extremely good book, not long at all.. umm 242 pages lol. it was the 6th book i've read this summer and i still have a dozen more to read. i often read a lot in the summer, its the only time i have to read and enjoy it. i guess i read during the school year too but its more of a mandatory textbook read rather than a read for fun.. i much prefer reading for fun. i have a problem though.. when i finish an amazing book, it takes me so long to get into another one if it doesn't start as amazing as the last one ended. its hard for me to give the author that introductory grace period of the book not catching my attention within the first 5 pages. with the 6 books ive read this summer came white oleander (by janet fitch) and the virgin suicides (some of the best books ive ever read). these books are hard to match in my opinion. i also read the great gatsby (by scott fitzgerald), water for elephants (by sara gruen), 206 bones (by kathy reichs) and 8 days to live (by iris johansen). some slightly disappointing, some slow, some sad, some jumpy and hard to follow, all worth reading. now im trying to get into to this book called vanishing acts by jodi picoult.. its more difficult then i expected it would be, but im sure once i get through the first 4 chapters or so it will get more interesting. i've heard good reviews about the book and her other book, my sisters keeper, was also highly rated (and made into a movie). 

in terms of the type of books i like.. its hard to tell.. i need books that inspire, have mystery, love and hate even crime. i like literary fiction.. books filled with themes, poetic writing styles and views of the world only few would think of. i like when books have their spines cracked and pages folded, representing its frequency of being read, or flipped through (to refer back to something interesting or view altering you once read). i want to read books that inspired the authors and people i love. i like reading books by educated academics, people that i learn something from (although i still like to read books written by those actresses/actors gone writer, for example, the truth about diamonds - by nicole richie - i actually enjoyed). okay. i was just in an i love books mood, and i found some cool pictures.

this is cute.. 

 i want this.. it looks relaxing.

now this is interesting.

books are worth collecting because i guarantee at some point in your life you will want to read them again - only the good ones.

"the worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it" - james bryce

"a test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter" - thomas helm

doggie style..

four legged animals.. dogs.. i wish i had one. i like dogs, except when they lick my face. i've never owned a dog, instead we used to have a family cat named einstein. he was cute and i miss him sometimes but i really would like a dog. i want a cockapoo, cocker spaniel/poodle.. lovelove.

so my aunt is a teacher and since shes gone during the day, teaching and all, for the past few weeks my sisters and i go over and walk the dogs. it gives me something to do, helps her out and gives the dogs a much needed opportunity to release all the energy they manage to build up in a day. today i went to walk them alone. 

 this is fete - hes cute.. i think the name means celebration in french

 i love him most - shhh 

this is jessie, she is a bearded shepard.. shes younger and bigger

they like me now that i walk them.. fete often gets so tired he jumps in the pool after the walk and obviously comes over and shakes all the water off himself and on to me.

walking is fine, poop scoopering im still getting used to.

obviously you dont like breathing clean air

i went to the dundas buskerfest yesterday, just a little street festival with jugglers, comedians, fudge and little tents with unique stuff on tables. we didn't stay long, i was kind of sick and its not very big. there was a few good acts.. its always fun when an australian man insists that the audience dances and points out everyone who is not following along with his awkward, unprofessional dance moves. oh and a magician who calls a kid an idiot and eats an entire balloon.. im really still wondering what happened to that balloon lol. so despite that little opener, i am angry with this world.. leaving, i saw a friggen 9/10 year old kid light a cigarette and pass it to his friend. if you know me at all, you probably know how much this would bug me. seriously!! where do these kids even get cigarettes?! their older siblings? i can't really see them having friends who are that much older. its disgusting. you aren't even old enough to make reasonable decisions in other aspects in your life, dont smoke you idiots! okay i dont smoke, and i never want to but at least when you are of legal age you are only doing one stupid thing (smoking) rather than two (breaking the law and smoking).. id say it is assumed that as you get older you know more of the consequences and dangers of smoking, but often i dont think thats the case.. people are naive and they pay selective attention.. if you want to smoke, or enjoy smoking, you will more likely assume that all those dangers/effects of smoking will never happen to you. they will. but come on kids! you are probably healthy currently.. dont ruin it please! for your own sake, not for mine.. although you do make me physically sick just thinking about how dumb you are.

now i sound like some kind of anal parent.. lol im not trying to

just saying how i feel about stupid 10 year old kids who smoke 

and modern music it aint to her taste

i love relaxing summer days and starbucks. starbucks has this music pick of the week thing, free itunes download each week. its perfect. i've had bad experience with computers, my whole family has, so we don't download music on anything but itunes. way afraid of viruses. but i tunes adds up when you have to pay for every song, so i get the pick of the week at starbucks lol. its free right! this week it was longing to belong by eddie vedder so i needed to get it!

one from last week was still there.

ohh i dragged my sister and my friend andrew with me to starbucks, andrew wasn't impressed when he found out the reason i wanted to go was to get an itunes pick of the week card.

i played around with pictures of my extremely unproductive but relaxing day.

i creeped my sister out a bit - my face did 

 ♪ she may be young but she only likes old things... she likes the natural light, captured in black and white ♪ 

all the best dj's are saving the slowest song for last

yesterday i went to a concert in buffalo with my friend james. im not really a concert going kind of girl.. im usually perfectly content with bands playing in my ears through a little rectangular box we call the i pod. i dont need to be surrounded by other fans, especially when they are screaming the lyrics to the songs.. i didn't come to listen to you sing, i want to hear the band. so yup, i much enjoy listening to even my favourite music on a cd, ipod or computer. but anyways i was invited to a concert, i knew little music from the band but more took it as an opportunity to hang out with a good friend. so we went to see jimmy eat world, james loves them - im pretty sure they are his favourite band.

we left around 5:30, doors opened at 7pm. i must say, im a little impressed, after parking the car we heard bells chime from a clock tower near the venue, exactly 7:00, nice job james. we still had to wait in line and i had a slightly awkward experience of some girl whispering in my that she liked my jeans. and she asked me if there was a specific name for them.. umm skinny jeans? 

the venue was fairly small, it was called the town ballroom, no seats, all standing. you know what sucks, being my height at a concert. im not short, im like 5'5, but apparently tall people dont see me and therefore assume im not there or something. or maybe tall people travel in flocks and the flock just decided to crowd around the front and centre last night. so due to my height, i was unable to get any pictures, any i did get, james took for me since he is significantly taller - but they turned out blurry. 

the opening band was really good! a band called civil twilight.. its pretty sweet, they are from south africa. this song is amazing. they were on for maybe 40 minutes than jimmy eat world! jimmy eat world was better than i would have expected (remember im not a concert person). the few songs i know and love by them, they played. the ones i didn't know, were pretty good.

james got a shirt.  

so crossing the border was nothing, concert was great, tall people kind of ruin view of bands for me, birkenstocks are a good shoe to wear when standing for 3.5 hours and sometimes large groups of people smell.

ohh and on the way back home we stopped at a tops to get water and that was a bit interesting lol. there was a random frog noise, like a loud ribbit, ribbit, coming from the entrance. it was too loud to be coming from a real frog, i was confused.

ohh and now i can't wait too see death cab for cutie in concert in july!! 

due to lack of pictures, here are music from the two bands

its not a confession when i dont explain..

dont you hate when you find out something about someone that you shouldn't know, or not necessarily shouldn't, but they just dont know you know. and its even worse when it makes you mad or sad but you can't confront the person about it because you shouldn't know in the first place. its not like the person deliberately says you are not supposed to know, but you just know you aren't supposed to know because its against all contexts you have ever known about the person. im sorry if this confuses you but im not really willing to explain it any more than i have here. im not saying you shouldn't keep things from people, everyone has their right to have their own life and to single out certain situations or aspects of their personality they want to reveal to different sorts of people. im just saying it sucks when i know something i shouldn't and i can't tell the only person it would affect. too be honest, i dont even think it would affect him, but we probably wouldn't talk as much, since im pretty sure its meant to be kept from me lol. its simpler that way.
why can't everyone just be who they are in front of everyone. actually i understand why they can't, but it just bugs me sometimes. i understand why when you are at work or school you need to act a little more responsible, organized, maybe punctual than when you are with your friends/family, and that you may be more inhibited with your new or old friends then you would be with the opposite group. but it does make things a little easier (understandable, comprehendible and enjoyable) if you are not a jerk half the time, a mystery a quarter of the time and a sweetheart the other quarter of the time. choose one so i can act appropriately to your selection.