random mail.

today starbucks sent me something lovely in the mail.. 

yes.. thats right
i got a gold card.. and look at the list of all the little bonuses that come with having a gold card. 
ahh starbucks.. my addiction to their coffee has even been realized by starbucks themselves!
have a happy friday!

words on writing

how often do bloggers get writers block? i mean, this blog you read here is everywhere, its unorganized and inconsistent. sometimes i write about my thoughts or something on my mind, sometimes its a written and picture diary of what i did on a single day, sometimes i post music videos for my favourite songs. im random and so is this blog but i find my mind races when when im stressed or worried. when i have other things in my life i should give priority to.. this is when i write, this is when my thoughts make their way to paper and this blog. i find i write most posts during exam time or in times of high stress. im so relaxed right now.. christmas is over, im in between semesters in school and my weekly work schedules are doable.. i have time to sit and read books and some of the blogs im everyday inspired by. i have time to watch movies with my sisters and hang out with my friends and i have time to write. why does everyone of these things i have time to do get done except for write, when to be completely honest, it would be hard to take any one of those particular activities off that list. maybe im distracted or exhausted, im unsure. maybe its just writers block. whatever it is, it is bugging me. but for now, i get to catch up on reading reading the words of others. 
i hope everyone had an amazing christmas!  

toronto is all christmasy

last wednesday it was my dads birthday. usually each december 21st, for my dads birthday, my family and i go skiing. normally december 21st comes along with snow.. unfortunately this year it didn't... it was 4 degrees celsius and raining! yes raining! hey.. i live in canada.. its not supposed to rain in december. we are use to white decembers with temperatures far below 0. no snow concluded no skiing. instead, my dad decided we would go to toronto for the day. he asked me some of my favourite places in toronto and we went to all of them. we went to the distillery district.. walked to st lawrence market, then went to the eatons centre and walked around to see the beautiful windows decorated for christmas time (of course i have other places in toronto i love, but we only had a day!)

 yes. there was no one there!

it was rainy and a wednesday

 i think it would be much more attractive if there was snow

 beautiful windows

merry christmas eve!

secret santa

secret santas are always fun.. its always interesting to see what others get you when a) they are forced to spend less than $25 and b) they are forced to pick a name and its possible they may not know you as well. this year  i did a secret santa gift exchange with some of the girls from my program (there were 6 of us including me). we have only known each other since september, but apparently im easy to buy a present for.. katrina picked out the perfect gift for me...

i guess everyone knows of my addiction to coffee

and starbucks

* ps: inside the card.. was a chunk of santas beard! it was amazing! haha*

christmas wish list

for the past month and a half my parents have been asking me to make a christmas list. this task is harder than i imagined.. until all about 5 minutes ago i had one items written on my list. the only item on my list to my parents was a car charger for my blackberry (i dont even own a car, but my phone has horrible battery life and i think its a good idea to have when driving). for the past two years i had asked for a nikon d 3000. i got one for my birthday this year, placing a strike through that item on this years planned christmas list. i really dont need anything! i live at home for free, dont need kitchen appliances, food, bill payments. i cant think of cds or movies i want, not clothes or electronics. i can't even think of books i want, those ideas come to me as im walking through aisles of books, or recommendations from friends/family. 
so then 10 minutes ago i was forced to think long and hard about something small, like a stocking stuffer, i want from my sisters (we decided we should only spend about $20 on each this year). so okay, maybe i want a pair of mitts, and a picture/poster like thing for the wall in my room. maybe a hardcover notebook to carry around and write in, or bookends? i've wanted some for a while now. im unsure if any of these cost less than $20 but at least it gives them some ideas.. continuing my 'what do i want for christmas' search.. i was online window shopping on etsy and i found something perfect! ...

beautiful!

leather straps, snap button closure!

i love it and want it

*link it up here *

the weight of water

this morning, out of my usual routine of getting driven to school by my dad - he goes that way anyways to get to work- i took a bus to school. i actually don't mind taking public transportation, unless its at night. i used to hate it, i used to be bothered by the people on the bus and jump to ultimate judgement of why these people didn't have cars when they were older than my parents. i was spoiled and narrow minded. so on the bus as usual, i sit right near the bus doors - my reasoning for this is not simply to have easy access to the doors, but rather to be at optimal location for hearing conversations - creepy? maybe a little. i think people are interesting and normally have interesting stories to tell.. and plus, if they don't want anyone to hear maybe they should have conversations at locations other than on city buses. the bus makes a few stops, people get on, people get off and then the bus stops in front of a man and a women. the two of them were wearing clothes more appropriate for july than december and jeans were torn and filthy. as the man stands at the front of the bus scrounging through his money to find the bus fair for both of them, the women rolls a large round dirty object through to the centre of the bus and sits adjacent to me. when the man comes and sits beside her she says "this is going to be beautiful". he smiled and responded "i know". she described how she was going to clean it and paint it copper and line the mirror (i had no idea it was a mirror until this point) with a pattern of his choice. she said the frame had a crack, but the mirror was fine, it was perfect. she said she was going to find a way to hang it somewhere. 
now that, right there, is my inspiration. 

people who have the creativity, risk and love which enables them to find beauty in the most unconventionally beautiful things

its not as easy to do as you think, so see beauty in the smallest things is not something you can just train yourself to do. ive tried. 

i wish we could open our eyes, to see in all directions at the same time

almost each day for the past few week ive received a text:"ask me something".  This has slowly become one of my favourite three word texts. it requires me to compile thoughts together to form a question i want to know the answer to. taken verbatim the text requires me to ask any simple superficial question i want to know about him such as; what is your favourite movie? favourite dessert? best christmas present?. sometimes my questions do take this approach. this text warrants caution though and this caution is solely based on the fact that this individual is rather intelligent and analytical almost to the point of insanity. asking him such a superficial question would bore him and what is the fun in that right? 
last night my question was "what inspires you?". his response: natural phenomena - beauty in the world that occurs so naturally. like the patterns in a snowflake. 

he answered it so simply, so perfectly.

so, what inspires you? 

think about it..

i want to know!

bask in your uniqueness

hey you. im me and i like you as you. we are different people and we think entirely different, thats part of the appeal. i like intelligence and thought, i want your own opinions, not my recited back to me. dont find quotes you think i'll like, find quotes you like and tell me why you like them. don't read books because i love books, tell me what you love instead of books. you dont need to have the "in" on my favourite tv shows or like my favourite seasons, i find comfort in knowing you have your own passions, joys and guilty pleasures. feel free to judge my opinions, dislike them, disagree with them.. just dont change yours to conform with them.

chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.. 

my obsession.. 

maybe

awkward and awesome

its another awkward and awesome thursday and for some reason im super excited about it today. probably because awkwards are more often my favourite and ive got some memorable ones this week


awkward
- walking into turtle jacks (the restaurant) for my work staff christmas party with my friend, looking around for the table they are at. My friend starts walking over to a table and im still looking around everywhere and im like oh! do you see them? i was going to ask the wait staff. and they were right there. right in front of the door! all staring and waving at us
- a 15 yr old boy coming into work and trying to sell me his 1995 samsung flip phone with no battery. he told me its his last one and its a good deal. i looked at him and couldn't help but laugh. i had to turn away and ask my manager to deal with it.
- some girls jacket getting caught on my chair in study area at school.. causing her to kick my coffee across the room (there were no tables, it was on the floor near my chair) and practically fall on my friends chair.. my only thought was "whoa, what just happened..my coffee! i needed that"
- not having my schedule memorized in even the last week of classes (definitely missed a class by accident because i thought it was at 3, not 2)
- trying to get out of the silent area study room at school.. the doors are soo heavy i can only open it enough to barely get my body through (i think people think im incompetent.. im just weak)
- my friend actually telling me he laughs at how awkward i am lol
- trying to get a picture of guinness and i with the christmas tree..

awesome
- waking up to snow
- weather perfect for wearing my new boots and down jacket
- christmas tree is decorated and stockings are hung
- love (like) or something like it.
- guinness's fascination with snow (he eats a pathway for himself before he walks in it)
- over 80% on all my projects this year
- ski season is upon us!

oh christmas tree..

a pine tree, never changing. no transformations in hue as the seasons change and not a thought in minds for 11 months of a 12 month annum. the 12th month brings appreciation and a recognized purpose of a simple pine tree. each year my family ventures out to select the perfect christmas tree; a tree to bring home and decorate, to guard our presents. its comforting to have it here, it creates a warmth not present in the absence of the tree, and it brings excitement and wills kindness and sharing. 
we personalize our christmas trees. my family and i place an angel at the top, wrap the tree in gold ribbon and each year place less and less homemade childhood ornaments on its branches (even though my parents most likely have saved them). some ornaments were purchased and others were gifts, still others were passed down. some place a cross or a star on top, some have no ribbon, some load the branches with candy canes and last years favourite christmas cards. others place pictures in hanging ornaments from the tree, some place coloured lights and some place white lights. they are personalized to each family, each house hold. 
this tree will be a huge part of my christmas season..

tis the season.

<3 

im glad ive learned this.. your turn

did you know that people often make judgements about you within 10 minutes of meeting you, sometimes its even three minutes. this is important! first impressions make decisions. who are you friends with, who will you hire, who do you want to work with, who do you want to babysit your kids? first impressions help make these decisions. but first impressions can be the least thought of if you have the opportunity to show a different impression next time. sometimes people wont let you, after a bad first impression they go to ultimate avoidance and dont give you the opportunity. i dont think ive ever really thought too much about first impressions until this year, where i have suddenly developed this determination to change a groups impression of someone else.

this year im in a new program at school and i swear it is the most diverse group of people ever. it is also the most cliquey group of individuals i know.. basically everyone chose their group within 1 day.. maybe 2 days of classes and sit with that group in all our classes. im one of them, i'll admit (and i love the group i sit with).  we are however, placed into work groups in each of our classes and these groups are normally not chosen, they are assigned in some way. as much as it sucks to get a bad group, i think its a great way to un-clique (or un-click.. if you are american). so anyways.. there is this guy (i'll call him tim) who i have gotten to know fairly well and of course hes that guy who so bluntly does not care. my friends in class think hes dumb, he never shows up to class, he seems arrogant and thoughtless, lazy and snobbish. hes that guy that has to express his opinion in every class he actually does show up to and has the laissez-faire attitude that everyone hates! in social situations he is a complete jerk! but.. when you are forced to work in a group with him and actually have a small group or one-on-one conversation with him.. anything but lazy, thoughtless and arrogant present itself. hes creative, smart and funny. hes also an amazing writer, which i like. hes interesting and thoughtful. it just sucks that he acts so careless, developing bad judgments by everyone else. why tim, why!? when i meet a person like this.. i want others to see him this way too! but the only thing i can say to my friends is that they have to give him a chance.. i cant change their opinions even though i want too so badly. and i cant change him.. i cant tell him to be nice to everyone, attend class and just drop his opposing opinions once in a while!

i can't change anyone and i know this, but im creating an awareness.. in order to truly judge someone you need to give them more then one chance. giving them one chance to impress, i can guarantee, will result in you missing out on some of the most amazing people. some people surface act in social or stressful situations but its not who they are 96% of the time. try to talk to people one-on-one if they will let you.. judge them fairly on who they are, not how they appeared the first time you met him. you are doing your self a favour this way.  

chocolate calendar time

its december 1st today! you know what that means..

i get to eat the first chocolate of this years countdown to christmas calendar. yes im 24 and my mom still buys me a chocolate calendar every year.. its one of the many traditions i love. 
its also time for christmas list making, christmas shopping, christmas baking, ugly sweater parties and all the other traditions; christmas tree cutting pour example. (yes pour.. its my attempt at french)
okay, so i'll cross off christmas list making this year. i got my nikon D3000 for my birthday this year which is way more than my parents spend on birthdays. no christmas presents for me this year.. but i have a puppy now! so i'll make a list for him. too be honest, i dont think i could even make a list for myself if i needed to. i can't think of anything i need/want. maybe a chapters gift certificate.. :)
and sadly, i even have to miss out on christmas tree cutting this year. i have to work this weekend and thats when my parents have decided to go :(.. but im totes in for the christmas baking and the ugly sweater parties im planning on attending! 
oh and despite what i said earlier.. if there is anything i want for christmas it may or may not be found in this little treasure right here:

and new glasses. i would like some new glasses.. as much as i love mine, i think my eyes have gotten worse.. thats what getting older does to you!

no im not getting greedy.. im just saying


*loop scarf american eagle outfitters, 40% off * 

awkward and awesome

awkward:
- me trying to tell stories. especially when i dont remember all the information.
- a guy in my class making me a cd entitled "christine's mix" and dropping it on my desk during school (-okay i guess the fact he made it is not awkward.. i think the name/dropping it on my desk in the middle of class was awkward)
- commenting about how they should remove all smoking shelters near building in front of someone who smokes..(definitely found out she smokes 10 minutes after i said that)
- friends getting twitter.. now i have to take the link to this blog off my twitter account 
- i was told when you are talking to someone its always good to make eye contact.. but if you are talking to someone and you start focuses on keeping eye contact and thinking about it too much it just gets awkward and i think i end up looking away more than remaining contact


awesome:
- going to milestones for my friends birthday, ordering a mocha (because i was driving, no wine) and their credit card machine wasn't working properly... it was taking like 10 minutes. so they said its on the house, dont worry.. sweet! free $4 mocha!
- getting ahead in school work.. im done two of the three assignments i have due next monday and 80% complete on the project due next thursday
- a friend at work is going to teach me how to snowboard this winter! soo excited!!
- santa clause parade and chocolate calendars
- starbucks eggnog lattes and peppermint mochas!

santa came to visit

its only mid november and i know there is no snow.. but it is that time of the year again. the time when santa clause makes his appearances in all of our cities. he comes to our malls and our work christmas parties and yes he also marches down the streets in parades fully dedicated to jolly old santa.. well technically he doesn't march, thats for the bands.. he gets carried on his overenthusiastic float following mrs clause in her unfairly decorated float.. 
so yup.. this sunday santa was roaming the streets of downtown toronto and i went to see him.. (apparently he was also at limeridge mall here in hamilton.. but hes allowed to be in two places at once.. hes magic right?!)
i dragged a few of my friends along to the parade with me.. i may have bribed them with starbucks (sunday still had the buy one get one free holiday promotion thing on - otherwise i wouldn't have offered)..

 its the i love turtle man! (ps: i hate those chocolates, love the turtle)

 i actually dont know what some of these floats were advertising

due to the fact that i couldn't see!

 pretty sure this is my favourite float.. i love penguins

 tim hortons house of donuts

 mrs clause

santa!

he was skinny which disappointed me

after santa passed us, meagan and i decided we wanted a picture with santa clause. since we couldn't interrupt the parade and ask him, we ran and tried to get a picture with him in the back ground.. that failed pretty badly..

we asked peter to take it.. 

and he managed to get santa in with us

life with a doggie

guinness is almost 7 months, this i can't believe. i got him when he was 10 weeks old and 6 lbs (here) and despite me living life almost 24 years without a pup, i cant imagine how life would be without him now. he is 23 lbs and curlier than i ever imagined he would be.. im more attached then i thought id be to an animal. i guess once you have a dog you get used to the little areas in your life he fills with his wagging tail, his excited foot prints and his "pay attention to me" barks. 
when i come home from school, he wants me to pick him up (even though he is too much of a fatty for me to pick him up) and greet him. when i do he sits contently in my arms. when im ignoring him because i dont want to play, he stares with his puppy eyes and when i have time to play, he has his puppy smile on.. he snuggles by my feet at night and he wakes me up seconds before my alarm. he has the same love for iams puppy biscuits as i have for red velvet cupcakes, and im pretty sure he even knows how to spell treats. hes my puppy and im one of his family members..
this pup is also there to greet my dad when he comes home from work, with his tail wagging so fast he cant even walk. hes so sad to see my mom go for her daily morning walk that he lazily lays down on the jacket she has placed our living room chair, to prevent her from leaving.. he knows she needs that jacket. when my sisters come home every once in a while from school, guinness doesn't keep his eyes off them (while he practically ignores my parents and i who he sees every day).. 
when some of us hop in the car guinness jumps right in.. as much as he may not like car rides, he would rather be with us then be without us.

i'll disregard that fact..

yesterday i was in the car with my friend and my dad called. i had a normal conversation with my dad and when i finished the conversation my friend asked who i was talking to.. when she found out i was talking to my dad shes like.. what! are you always that nice to your parents?!.. umm yeah?! why wouldn't i be? then she asked me if ive ever had a fight with my parents.. i thought i had before, but then i started thinking about it more.. i really dont think i have.. ever.. either with my sisters. actually i dont even think ive ever had a fight with a friend. i guessin answering this question it kind of depends what you consider a fight... but my friends impression of a fight was a full on screaming argument, a lack of conversation for a couple of days (in other words; the silent treatment) or insulting the other in some way.  and for this definition.. no ive never experienced this with my parents, sisters or friends. ive never insulted my parents/sisters or friends with the intention of hurting them, ive never ignored them or yelled in a condescending way, never have physically fought with or screamed at them. sure.. ive had minor disagreements with these people and ive definitely experienced the whole "i really cant be around you right now because i may say something i will regret later".. but never had a "fight" in a way that coincides with my friends definition of the term.
i dont like confrontation. i avoid it. im easy going and i like being that way. if i dont like the way someone is acting i will leave, if i dont agree with what they are doing/saying.. i may calmly state my opinion or disregard the information, through silence or ignorance. im opinionated but i can often sense when my opinion may cause confrontation and if there is a risk of that.. i wont express it..
i build strong friendships and i have an amazing relationship with my family. i think this is because im contra-confrontational.. yup thats me :)

my kind of friday

HAPPY FRIDAY!

its my friday today..

handed in a major project worth 30%, got out of class early, went to walmart to get the cd ive been looking for and they had it!

suns shining.

i only work 5-9 today, art crawl is on tonight, my sisters are coming home for the weekend!

wearing my most comfortable sweater.

drinking hot chocolate from my favourite mug.

hanging out with guinness and my new cd

its november and cold out.. so im allowed to listen to christmas music!

 michael buble and i are hanging out today

bring on the christmas tunes

 teasing guinness with his toy.. he poses well that way

 few of my favourite things

he thinks im crazy.. singing to him

november video post

a while ago my friend suggested id like a band called florence and the machine. i'd never heard of them, or her.. at the time, and by the time i got home that night i forgot what band he mentioned. anyways, i heard a song on the radio this morning, loved it and realized it was florence and the machine..
so heres a video post.

words to live by

starting yesterday in the hamilton spectator there is a 5-part series called "words to live by". its about women and their voice. voice, not as in their ability to produce sounds through the thin flaps of their vocal cords, rather, voice as in their personal expression. through art. through writing, drawing and photography. writing blogs, poems, lyrics and stories. the group of female writers being featured in the hamilton spectators 5 part series are recovering addicts, some alcoholics, some drug addicts. despite all recovering from addictions they all share something else in common; their love of writing. these individuals hit "rock bottom" and while feeling lost, found their way through writing. each day the series introduces you to a different writer. with each writer, a different perspective, distinct experience and unique words.
this series is exciting! expressing your own thoughts through words and photography is one reason i began this blog. to some blogging is a hobby, to some its a method of coping with the daily. to many its a journal of our thoughts. the author in the hamilton spectator described it well, "words move quickly from head to heart, through to pen and paper." (or in this case; to text on screen). often although writing can inspire others, it is personal to the writers.
you can read the spectator 5 part series sunday through to this thursday    

they say when you're not lonely alone, there's something wrong..

solitude is defined as the state of being alone, the remoteness from

 habitation or a lonely unfrequented place

despite the stated definition, this picture/quote makes so much sense to me. when willingly in solitude, sitting on a bench at my favourite lookout or sitting in a small coffee shop before anyone else has woken from their nights peaceful sleep, i feel far from alone, even though by definition, i am alone. id define solitude more as peacefulness; without distraction or interruptions; clearheadedness and simplicity.

id more likely feel alone when in a place far from remote, in a popular place and surrounded by people.

happy halloween

i just want to say.. 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

i saw some amazing costumes out tonight :)
so exciting!

i just hate that as i get older there is less and less to do on halloween

or i just get too busy to do any of it
but i did get to go to a party on saturday night..

festive halloween food and treats

50's house wife and squirrel (most amazing costume idea ever!) 

*dont mind my ultra awkward face*

apparently the photographer caught me off guard

this was the only photo of me with the oven mitt in the kitchen 

i spent 3 hours curling my hair

and the curls fell within half an hour of getting to the party

just the way you are

"when you love someone more than he loves you, you'll do anything to switch the scales. you dress the way you think he'd like you to dress. you pick up his favourite figures of expression. you tell yourself that if you re-create yourself in his image, then he will crave you the same way you crave him.".. 

"when you are told you are someone you aren't over and over, you begin to believe it. you live that life. but you are wearing a mask, that one day might slip off if you aren't careful. you wonder what he will do when he finds out" - Jodie Picoult in Vanishing Acts

i love books and love owning them but i find that they are only worth keeping when you get something out of them. when books have a powerful message or line that really stands out, these i define as keepers. these are the books i will keep on my bookshelf and read again, whether it be the whole book or just the line in mention. although a book can reveal a writers talent, sometimes its one sentence in a book that is able to capture a true glimpse of just how talented a writer is. 

the line from the book above - has meaning to me. im sure it has meaning to a lot of girls. at some point you have tried to change yourself to be someone you are not, to be accepted or to be liked. you try so hard to be that someone and when you are still not liked by this guy or accepted by those people, you try harder. eventually you will either break and no longer be able to be that "fake" without revealing the true you or.. you will not be able to draw the line between the real you and the "fake". 

to be honest, i dont even know how to explain the tendencies of people to feel this way, to want to be someone they are not, just to be liked. is it messages from the media that cause this?  or is it just that people are mean? there is no one answer, i dont think. i just think its important to love and accept others the way they are and not try to change their appearance, their interests or views, their religion, their style. if you were never told you could or should be any different then you are, maybe you will avoid people who you do not mesh with (people who would be likely to change you) because you'd never try to change because you never have felt you needed to. 

so spread the action - dont try to change anyone to please yourself. if someone is different, accommodate the difference in your life so he or she does not need to be different then they are. maybe after you've realized you shouldn't try and change who anyone is, you will realize you can't change who you are to please someone.

via* weheartit*

fallen leaves bring halloween

i got my costume today and im so excited to wear it! its totally last minute since the halloween party im going to is tomorrow night and i work from 10 am until 5:30 tomorrow, leaving me no time to costume shop. i promised meg id go costume shopping with her, its kind of been a tradition of our since ive met her, so since shes coming to hamilton for the party tomorrow, i figured it was fair i go to toronto to costume shop. meg knew what she wanted to dress up as.. i had no idea.  just before going to toronto i was talking to my mom and kind of had an idea of something i may be.. lucky me though, the first stop, a thrift store and i found exactly what i was looking for (not telling!) and it was 6.99! and then i saw a sign "October 28, all clothing 50% off" perfect!.. 
kay i'll stop there since im not telling anyone what im dressing up as yet.. just wanted to say i got my costume.. and it was $3.49. i just need to get one more item.. after that its just accessories and the make-up.. but im sure either my mom or i have that stuff. 
along with getting my costume we carved our pumpkins today! it was my first time actually fully carving my own pumpkin.. the last four years i was living in student housing and no one in our house (including me) ever carved/bought a pumpkin to put out. and before that ive pretty sure ive just de-gutted a pumpkin.. never really carved one.

 de-gutting the pumpkin.. 

my favourite part

 dads pumpkin (he likes to make them friendly looking)

 my pumpkin

its totally lopsided.. but it makes it creepier

 i think its freaky
i submitted it to rachaels pumpkin carving contest
check out the other pumpkins

and some roasted pumpkin seeds